Monday, June 19, 2006
Disgrace?
Recently, he got a bday party by his ns men. Obviously, he as an officer muz go. But the problem is that he does not bring me there. I have been askin myself, what is the reasons for him not to bring me. Mayb because i am not pretty, who does not put on makeup or does not realli know how to dress up or being too kiddy in front of people. Or am i a disgrace to him? i know that i am not as pretty as his sec sch frenz, who dress up and make up(who he see until his eyes pop out) .if tat is so, what for he wants to be wif me?I mean if he afraid that his ns frenz to see me, then find someone prettier or knows how to talk like a presenter that will not disgrace him, this will realli do. I mean if he realli mind, i can juz zip up my mouth and dun tok on tat day, i can juz smile will do. is tat so difficult to bring me to there? Do will throw his face? Mayb i do. but in terms of qualifcations, i goin to have a degree. then he? what does he have? a diploma onli? a uni student like me, i have a much more freedom to choose someone wif a same qualification and not a diploma holder. in future, i will earn more then him. so what is the use of he wif me? i did not even look down on him on his qualification, and yet he treat me in this way. i realli dunno what he as a guy is thinking about. if he does not want me to go, what for tel me about the event that he is havin? right now, his ns fren is goin to marry and invited him over and same as usual, he is not goin to bring me to.
and some more, i cannot even access to his wallet, bag or even photos. i always envy those gf tat can juz anyhow take their bf wallet or bag to take the things they wanted or even can proudly show their bf wallet's photo to me.. i even dun have the change to have a small peep on them then no need to say access to them. he look into my bag and take things without my acknowledgement and i cannot see his things. i mean i dun mind he lookin into my stuffs, but in turn he dun not even let me have access or even peep into.. what is the world goin to? haiz. he can access to mine and i can't to his?
he as an officer do not have much time wif me. and i had to wait til wkends then i got a chance to see him and sometimes, he have duties and we ended up not meeting. so what is the difference of me being wif a normal ns men? now then i know why there are so many break ups between ns men and their loved ones. i did not even realli scold him for not being have time wif me and i do not go out wif other guys. he does not even give me a necklace, i mean at least a bracelet or hairclip will do. i am not asking to have anything fr tiffany or citigems, i mean juz anything from ,err like for exmaple, perlin silver, a bracelet will juz cost 10- 20 bucks onli.that is consider cheap to him who is an officer. but what did i get? haiz. or shld i not put so high hopes on him or have i ask TOO much from him? mayb to him i am a spolit kid. he even ask whether do i know how to iron clothes. I can admit tat i dunno how to. i know as an female, this kind of simple stuffs, we are "expected" to know how to do. i mean i will surely learn but mayb not now. as i wanted to focus on my studies. haiz, dunno what a guy is thinkin.
oh, tok about studying. i am realli mad at this. recently, i got bac my results. i did not realli do tat well as to compare to last sem, even though i had passed all. but i am veri sad about my results, so i sms him to tel him about tat. in tat period, i did not realli blame him for not realli give me more concern, as he is having outfield. But the worst ever thing is tat he sms me back that what is my results, and told me that his bro(he is also an lecture mate in ntu wif me) had called him. As a normal person will know that his bro called him to know my results. and instead of my bf to console me, he in turn help his bro to ask me. WTF. i am terrible sad about my results and he nv even console me and now he even help his bro. so this tells us tat a gf cannot b compared to a 10 over yrs bro. and also tells us tat not all things can b told to our bf, as they will in turn tel their bro. as we, gals muz have some self-control to refrain fr telling too much of our stuffs.
ha, think i tok to much, later his bro tel him what have i blogged then my bf sure quarrel and angry to me. haiz, i have no freedom of speech.
&never too late10:52 PM
